CH 6: Patterns

CH6: Which pattern (rigid complementarity, competitive symmetry, or submissive symmetry) do you think would be most difficult to change? Why? Which would be the most damaging to a relationship? Which would be the most potentially damaging to the self-esteem of the individuals involved?

I believe every relationship starts to have patterns, over time. With that said, rigid complementarity, competitive symmetry and submissive symmetry would be difficult to change within a relationship once those patterns have began. However, I would think rigid complementarity is a little more difficult to change from my personal experiences within my own relationship with my boyfriend. On a light note of rigid complementarity I have experienced this with my boyfriend when it comes to going out. The reason is most of the time I am the one who plans what we are going to for the night, such as where, when, with who and what to wear. At first I did not mind this but now after reading this chapter I realize it is difficult to change this pattern even though we both have discussed this every so often. I do get tried of being in charge of what we are going to do and make sure i plan accordingly the factors in our life at that moment. After gaining a better understanding of the possible patterns we can fall into when in a relationship I will be able to better my relationship with my boyfriend for the future.

On another note, I believe complementary pattern would be most damaging in a romantic relationship. I am sure you would agree, there needs to be a balance between partners. If a partner takes the submissive part to often then the relationship would not be balanced and not be healthy for both partners. I would also say this term would be most damaging ones self-esteem in the relationship. If both parties don not have positive growth in the relationship then self-esteem will not grow in a positive direction as well.


Hope you enjoyed the rain this weekend! :)

Thanks,
Blondie